THE LAST FAILURE!

SPOILERS BELOW!

 

Let me start by addressing a criticism of the criticism of the movie, “let the past go!”; STAR WARS IS ALL ABOUT THE PAST AND NOSTALGIA! What Star Wars fan doesn’t live in the past? The new ones of course, and apparently, the DIEHARD fans of so long have to adapt to the NEW Star Wars? Well if that’s true then why is it so horrifying to accept the prequels? Easy answer, is because they are pretty awful movies. Now with that out of the way, Last Jedi is not horrible, far from it, but for a director to both literally and figuratively say FUCK YOU to anyone that wanted to see some answers revealed in a grandiose way, is just criminal to me. There is nothing wrong with everyone liking something. Liking Star Wars of the past so strongly should not be seen as some limitation on the amazing world of Star Wars. Yet here you have a movie that makes it feel as though it is a handicap in the greatest of ways.
The movie’s whole plot revolves around a ship and another ship “chasing” each other in a “high speed” pursuit. Let me talk about “chase” and “high speed” for a moment. By chase I mean one can’t catch the other because it is slightly faster. And by “high speed” I mean insanely boring and technically ridiculous (no gas refill ships?).
FAILURE: The central theme of the movie. Everyone seems to fail and I guess that is supposed to be enjoyable, excuse me if I didn’t find it all that amusing. The main and almost unforgivable failure to me was the exhausting Finn and Rose side quest that led to not only failure, but also the reveal of the Rebels barely secret plan. Oh look ships PEW PEW PEW! That was a half hour to what purpose? A cool Benicio lisp character? Sure, till he gives them up and disappears to “never” appear again? The only reason they survived was because the only character who got to do something amazing was the purple haired Jurassic Park lady.
Luke: Failure, even Yoda was laughing at him. You not get it you do, herrrrhhahh hhehhh. You little green dick. All this time you couldn’t have jumped your ghost ass in and tell me that? Regardless, still an awesome scene. WHY? Cause it had Yoda, that’s about it.
Rey: Failure, sort of, she was still the most likable character, but no brother/not brother connection for you. You can’t save him, even though it KEEPS HINTING THAT YOU ARE HIS SISTER…or are they to be lovers? She was barely in the damn movie. Because, go back and read the FINN AND ROSE PART…
I get it, us OLD fans need to just go away and die apparently. We can’t possibly have our NEW Star Wars follow any paths of the old and connect all the movies? NO! From what I have read that is exactly what is happening. Really at this point we all need to snuggle together with 4-6 and just let them have their new world, cause it is not the Star Wars world, it’s just Fan Fiction. Disney does not want us anymore. They want a new younger audience that will stay with this new world. I was on board Disney, totally on board, till you kicked me in the dick. You didn’t need to. All you had to do was give me some nice transitions with core elements intact. Kill’em all off if you want, but don’t kill the core. Don’t give us this blind hope that this was another 3 movies connected to the first six instead of reality of it being something entirely not Star Wars. What’s the point of the Han Solo movie if you don’t care? Why not just do a BB8 movie?
I read a huge article on a blog I like to follow, called the Alexandrian, and we both came to very similar conclusions, except he goes WAY more indepth. Yet why are there so much saying it was a glorious success? Is Disney hiding the truth? I see a divide of opinions across people I know, but on the Googs, it looks like a overall winner. I can’t see how. The movie, even minus the Star Wars link, is just a bad movie. Perhaps why they are scrambling Abrams back in.